The Merciful Gardener By Nina Burnet
In 2020 my husband and I started a new garden.
We had lots of spare time (as most people did), and we were newly married. So we planted. And weeded. And watered. And things grew! The following spring, I was pregnant with our first baby. We didn’t have time or energy to pour into our garden, and it looked it. Weeds grew high, and only the stubborn rhubarb grew among them.
This year we tried to grow again. We bought a bunch of seedlings (at least we cut ourselves some slack and didn’t start from seed) and we planted them. We had cleared about half of the garden to plant, but the weeds from the other side and the hidden roots grew into sprouts very quickly. I had told myself “Oh well, whatever will grow, will grow.” But not much came up besides that stubborn rhubarb (and now kale), and every time I look at the garden, I feel bad for the rest of those poor plants. Man, I wish my garden could weed itself, but we all know it is not possible. So why do we try to weed ourselves? God tells us to remain in the vine, receive life from him, and to abide. We have the ability to make choices, and we are responsible for our own life. But sometimes, we find ourselves powerless to remove certain things. Sometimes we do our best to pull out the weeds in our hearts but they just persist. And sometimes, there are often remnants of the roots or disease where sin once grew.
In my case, I had a remnant of shame in my heart that I couldn’t weed out myself. Over the years, I began to believe that God wanted to root out the sin in my life, but He left shame and discouragement as a punishment. But then the gardener of my soul saw me struggling to grow amid those torturing vines of shame.
And he had mercy on me.
I remember much about that moment. I was sitting at the back of a chapel room in Bible college, and everyone else was standing in front of me, praising God. It had been a hard morning for me, and I bowed my head in my desperation and asked for Jesus to help me.
And then He showed up. (I don’t talk to too many people about my visions. But I’m telling you now, so don’t get all freaked out on me.) In my mind’s eye, Jesus appeared sitting in front of me, in the midst of my shame and sadness. I had an immediate gut reaction ‘to try to tidy my heart of the shame so He wouldn’t have to see or feel it. How could He be here, in this place? He reached out and stopped me. God said, “child, you know you can’t wipe away your shame. You have tried it so many times before.” In the vision, we were in a deep well. And as Jesus took a cloth from me, He wiped the grime of shame off the walls and sat down with me. The well was now clean and cool.
I felt a change in my soul that day. That inward place had been cleansed by Jesus. I still struggle with shame from time to time (I am a mom now, and that has added a whole other level - help me Jesus!), but I do not have that deep pit of it in my spirit. It has been washed clean. Thank you, Jesus! The enemy of our souls constantly lies to us about who God is. He tells us that God is trying to take good things away when He prunes us. That He is not happy with us, so we need to try better. Or that He wants to push us to do hard things when we don’t have the strength.. the list goes on. Satan is terrified that you will get to know God better. Because if you do, you will see that He really does LOVE you.
And you will come to believe that He is as good as He says he is and that you can trust Him.
I pray today that you would trust Jesus with the overgrown garden of your heart. Or perhaps the dark well in your soul. I pray that you would take your hands off the garden shears or dirty cloth and will allow him to cut off anything that is stopping you from living and growing fully. Believe that Jesus knows you more than you know yourself and looks upon you with grace and love in His eyes.
Jesus, you are the gardener of our souls. Thank you for loving us and for grafting us to your vine of life. We are so thankful that you chose us before the beginning of time and that you know us completely. What an amazing God you are - You are always better than we remember. Please come in this moment and prune our hearts. I pray specifically, Lord that you would mercifully cut off the shame that may be strangling the heart of the one reading this. I pray they would hold onto hope that You have not forgotten them in their struggle. Holy Spirit, please come and fill them with hope, peace, and your everlasting love.
Nina lives on a blueberry farm in beautiful BC with her husband, 1-year old daughter, and her crazy dog. She is a vocalist with a BA in music ministry who enjoys the fine art of Karaoke. She spends most of her days recruiting for her family’s company and her nights relaxing at home.