Friendships By Melissa Heerebout
It’s a pretty significant year. Twenty years ago, I said I do.
Over these last weeks, I’ve been pondering these last 20 years. It’s been a wild ride, and we have said yes to so many different adventures. As I remembered all of the houses we’ve lived in, I realized that we’ve lived in 16 different places since we’ve been married. Those 16 different places happened to be in seven different cities across three provinces and one state. Because we’ve moved so much, my husband Tim has become my most consistent friend. And because we’ve moved so much, I’ve had to learn how to make new friends. As kids, it seems so much easier to build new friendships, and as adults, they can feel a bit awkward. So even as a 40-year-old woman, I’m trying to learn how to cultivate new friendships. Because I firmly believe we aren’t meant to do this journey alone.
I love that my husband is such a good friend, and I still need to do life alongside other women as well.
I need other moms to bounce ideas off.
I need women experienced in business to come alongside of me.
I need older women to help me navigate this season of my life.
And I need younger women to be my mentors to help me navigate the ever-changing world.
I need sisters to help me laugh and remind me that it’s OK to cry.
We need each other.
So here is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about cultivating friendships. CONNECT This might seem ridiculously basic, but it’s essential. Take time to invest in your friendships. Pick up the phone and give someone a call, shoot them a text message, give them a DM, whatever you need to do just take a moment to connect.
During healthy times, during the times that maybe just feel mundane, invest! So that you can have those friends when you hit those crises. I’ve had seasons where I’ve been great at this and seasons where I have been lousy at this.
Now, maybe you are in a position where you feel like your friendship list is pretty short. Covid has done a real number on our friendships. Personally, I neglected several friendships over that season, and some didn’t bounce back. Possibly you’ve lost some of those friendships over these last 18 months. Or perhaps you’re like me, and you’ve moved into a new city and you are looking for ways to connect.
Whatever the reason you are looking for new friendships, one of the best ways to find them is to serve. Jump into your local church and serve. A shared experience with somebody creates this bond and the opportunity to build off of that. As a pastor at a local church, we need people to serve, and the fantastic thing about serving is that it doesn’t just benefit the church or the leadership it benefits you as well. Being on mission together and serving is one of the best ways that you can start to build new friendships and new connections.
Here’s your invite, dear sisters; pick up the phone and send a text message. Pick the phone and ask how you can serve at your church. Take the time to connect and see how your friendships grow!
