Seeking New Community By Casey Wayne
I lay in bed feeling defeated and lonely.
The friendships I was already struggling to maintain were all but non-existent now. Having been in our new town only a few months, we enjoyed more time with family, but I became painfully aware of no longer having fellowship with friends.
We used to do playdates and birthday parties, and I had met all the ladies in my mom group years before we even became moms. As a group, we walked through the journey of early motherhood and the stress of adjusting to a new lifestyle, big decisions in parenting, and how to raise kids to love Jesus.
Now I was trapped with my friends far away and stressed over the process of trying to make new ones. I am sure you can think of a time in your life when you experienced a feeling like this—a season where you became painfully aware of your need for relationships with others. If you are in a season like this, I pray that you push forward, trusting God as you seek out new relationships. We are made for community and fellowship. In the absence of it, we survive, but we will never thrive.
From the beginning, God created us for it. Right after He created Adam, He created Eve, saying it is "not good for him to be alone" (Genesis 4:18 ESV). We were made to do life with others, but sometimes it is so easy to neglect it and avoid it in fear of the unknown or a lack of approval from others.
The day-to-day schedule juggling a spouse, kids, and work feels busy enough. Busyness and a lack of intentionality become how Satan can distract us from God's design for us. Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV) says, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Even Jesus chose to live in a community with few disciples. He ate, slept, prayed, and traveled with them for the duration of His ministry here on Earth (Mark 3:13-19). Like a chosen family, they spent their days together with a common heart toward glorifying God. Jesus encouraged relationships and community even as He was dying on the cross. As His mother and aunts watched Him suffer, some of His last words are found in John 19:26-27 (ESV), saying,
"When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!" Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour, the disciple took her to his own home." As He struggled to breathe and endured pain hard to fathom, he knew community was what they both would need to walk through the days ahead. Not only is fellowship in community how God designed us as individuals to thrive but also how He designed the Gospel to thrive. Relationships are at the core of our own faith walk.
Our relationship with our heavenly Father through Jesus is the heart of our faith (John 14:6). In the book of John, Scripture describes this relationship with Jesus as the "True Vine." John 15:8-11 (ESV) says, "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full".
The depth of our relationship with God, in Christ, creates in us a joy and strength that is pivotal to our ability to have community. As we flourish in the "True Vine," we can better partner with God to encourage the faith of other Christ followers and also be encouraged by others connected to the "Vine." We learn, grow and uplift one another as our heavenly Father restores our hearts. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV), God tells us, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing".
It is important that we intentionally encourage each other in faith and that we fellowship with other Christians through this world together. Colossians 3:16 (ESV) says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God."
However, none of this is possible if we do not trust God with our time and relationships if we do not take intentional steps to seek out other followers of Christ to form relationships with. We must trust God with the details and wisdom to navigate that process.
But we must first take that leap of faith to willingly step into those spaces where Christians meet. Connect to a local church, and find a small group or women's Bible study. This takes time, and I will not tell you it is void of awkwardness or disappointments. It may take attending multiple groups before God opens the door to others you feel you can connect with on a deeper level.
It took me a little over a year to start feeling comfortable in new friendships. After trying out multiple groups and Bible Study groups, planting those seeds of possibility, God allowed me to see more clearly the relationships He had for me. I still have moments where I stress over how I said or did something.
My brain keeps me up at night wondering if they actually want to be my friend or if they just put up with me. Satan tries his best to keep me from moving forward to have fellowship and community with other believers. But I choose to trust God and His design for my life. Community is worth prioritizing even when it is awkward, and I do not know what others think about me. I lift it all up to the Lord and move forward as He calls me into a relationship with Him and others.
My eyes have seen His faithful provision enough to know He is trustworthy. Trust Him with your heart, time, and fears as you step toward building your community of believers so you can encourage each other, glorifying God as you do so.
Casey Wayne is a wife and mother of two. She enjoys time with her family doing simple things like movie nights and cooking together. As a devotional writer, Casey strives to share her story with relatable honesty, showing how God is faithful throughout the big and small moments of life. She has a heart for encouraging the faith walk of other moms. Praying they gain a deeper connection with our heavenly Father. Her family lives in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. Connect with Casey at caseywayne.org. You can also find her on Instagram or Facebook @caseylwayne.