Sometimes I'm lonely and alone, and other times I'm surrounded by lots of people and still lonely. It's at times hard to put a finger on the why, I just know that's how I feel.

At times my loneliness is accompanied by restlessness, and other times I hear the lies: I have no friends. Something must be wrong with me. I'm too different, not fun enough, or I'm not good at being a friend. Perhaps you have your own set of lies that plays out in your mind.

My responses to loneliness have varied. For one, I've hosted a few pity parties. I've gotten out the tub of ice cream and tried to lose myself in some show or book. Or, I've tried last minute to reach out to people. And if they happened to be busy, which on short notice they often were, the same lies would start running through my head. Ironically, sometimes when I feel lonely, I resist doing the very things that could help me. I could phone or text someone, but I don't want to.

Instead, I want others to reach out to me. If they connect of their own volition, that communicates that someone deems me worthy of friendship--a special gift. That's why when you are lonely, the friend who initiates contact just because can truly lift your spirits. But unfortunately, it's pretty difficult for others to know exactly what you need and when you need it. And so, no matter how many friends you may have, it's still likely that there will be times you feel lonely or misunderstood.

1. Turn your attention toward God and away from yourself. Name His attributes and offer praise. Give thanks for the good things around you, consider the ways God has shown up in your life, and remember the costly work of Jesus to redeem you. Simply sit in His presence and invite Him into whatever is going on. And here is the promise: "As you draw near to God, he will draw near to you" (James 4:8).

2. Plan or act in tangible ways to show love to others. Set up a future coffee date with someone who comes to mind. Intercede in prayer for someone and let them know. Send an encouraging note. Bring someone a meal. Make a donation or read up on a charitable organization with the intent to get involved. Make that difficult phone call you've been putting of, you know, the one where you need to apologize. Not sure what to do? Ask God for an opportunity. As you reach out, don't look for how someone can fill your void; look for how you can be a blessing to them.

3. Receive the love that comes your way, remembering that you are someone's neighbour. For some of us, being on the receiving end of loving actions can be hard. No one always wants to be on the receiving end: That means we need to take turns. ;) There's no shame in asking for help. We all need it at one time or another. It's through reciprocal giving and receiving that strong lasting relationships are forged.

And finally, I think when we actively pursue God and are on mission to love others, we can't help but attract good company along the way. C.S. Lewis expressed this notion when he wrote, "Those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers".

So, let's get going. Let's get loving.