Going through a divorce is not something I talk about or even write about often. Probably because of the shame that goes with it, and I think more in the church community, which is one of the reasons why it was hard for me to decide to leave my unfaithful first husband.

However, we know that God uses brokenness to heal and glorify His name, which is precisely what I’ve been doing, sharing my story of unfaithfulness, brokenness and building myself up again, all with the help of my church community and God.

In 2015, I found physical proof of what I had suspected for years; my husband was unfaithful. Once I confronted him, he confessed that it wasn’t one woman; it had been multiple throughout years of our marriage. That broke me to pieces. I remember that night like it was yesterday. My stomach was turned upside down, my throat was burning, I felt like I had been punched in the gut repeatedly, and my chest was so tight I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I was filled with rage, yet all I could manage was to lie in the middle of our bedroom floor and weep. We were going to try to make it work. We went to couples therapy, although he didn’t believe in it, and since I didn’t see any real effort in him, I called it quits.

We talked, we argued, and I told him I would try again, but he wasn’t trying on his part. It felt like the marriage was one-sided, and I was the only one who wanted it. I prayed tirelessly to God, desperate to keep my family together and not be a statistic. I didn’t want my daughter to grow up in a broken home like I did, with divorced parents, but what I failed to realize at that moment was she was already in a broken home. So, I filed for divorce.

The pain of the betrayal left me intensely bitter. I stopped believing in love; I stopped believing in happy marriages; I thought everyone who was married was lying to us about how happy they were. I was moving and acting very selfishly and hurting people along the way. I was drifting further and further from God and acting like someone I didn’t know until I couldn’t do it anymore. Bitterness took over my life, and I could have chosen to live like that, but God called me back. I was at the point where I was tired of crying, being angry, and living without God.

So, I decided to get involved in the church and change my life. I had been invited to a local church fifteen minutes away from where I lived about a year prior, and I went back one Sunday morning, just me and my daughter. They were starting a new season of growth groups (small groups) and were inviting people to join. I found a young adult group that met on Monday nights at the church, and I joined.

Jesus is the only one who can transform us, but a community can help us. They support us, encourage us, and provide resources and prayers. There is a reason why Jesus places certain people in our lives during difficult seasons. For example, one of my closest friends now is a friend I met in the growth group! We’ve poured into each other and have shared testimonies. She is truly a gem, and I’m so thankful for her.

Prayer: Lord, I pray for anyone reading this who may need a community that they open their hearts to let those you’ve placed in their lives to help them heal. You’ve made us to be in community, you’ve made us to thrive in community, and I pray that everyone will find their tribe, that they find those who will pour into them, pray for them, lift them up, and hold them down when life gets hard. Those who will always guide them back to you! Jesus, thank you for my tribe and community. Thank you for providing those people who I needed in that dark season of my life. And thank you that I can share part of my story now to help others. In your name, Jesus, I pray always, Amen!