Gratitude for God’s Great Gift in Community By Olivia Warner
"Is the gift of God any less immeasurably great than this on any given day, even on the most difficult and distressing days of a Christian community?”
The question sank into the pit of my stomach. You know that place where conviction hits like a punch to the gut? It settled right there as I felt my heart being nudged by the Holy Spirit. I was reading Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer in search of some kind of tip or truth to pull me out of the funk I felt I was having in my relationships. On any given day, I was full of complaints and criticisms, and I had a laundry list of my unmet expectations and hurt I was harboring from feeling rejected and ignored by others. But reading Bonhoeffer’s words flipped the narrative in my head. Suddenly, my bold pronouncements of where community was failing me quieted on my lips. While it was true that the people around me were imperfect, it was also true that any community I had was a gift from God. I was lost in my relational wishlist and building a case for why I had been failed, and I felt entitled to gripe about it.
Community wasn’t measuring up to my expectations, which frustrated me, leading to questions about what God was doing. Yet when I was confronted with the truth that any community is a blessing from Him, I was forced to reckon with my attitude. I had experienced plenty of great days in Christian community, but I wasn’t ready to put the hard work in when the tough ones came. I just wanted life always to go smoothly and feel satisfying, with some kumbaya attitude making us all get along. That’s not a healthy way to live, nor is it fair. If I wanted to keep score of how often others fell short, then I needed to track just as closely all the times they served and loved me well. Going further, I ought to have acknowledged my own sins and weaknesses that I brought to these relationships too.
As long as I was unwilling to consider all that, I remained stuck in my point of view and trapped by my discontentment. I was convicted because there wasn’t any sense of appreciation in my heart, even though I had to acknowledge God’s provision of community for me in many ways. Maybe it wasn’t always exactly what I wanted or expected, but He had come through plenty of times.
And as imperfect as my relationships seemed to me, if I was honest, I could admit I still had some support and encouragement from others. Bonhoeffer challenged me to reflect on God’s gift to me and practice thankfulness. I started making note of all the ways I had experienced positive community and thanked Him for what I had.
I want to say that my whole perspective shifted immediately, and all my friendship woes were solved, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. The reality is that true heart transformation takes time and slow, intentional work. But gratitude was the tool that helped me gradually chip away at my bitterness and begin to experience peace and joy. The more I looked for the positives around me, the easier they were to see and the better I felt. While my whiny pity parties had felt good at the moment, they did little to help me in the long run. Instead, they became a pattern of complaining that was hard to break and made me isolated from others.
I was waiting for the next failure by someone else, and other’s actions completely dictated my whole outlook. Gratitude helped me extend grace to others and have a more balanced view of my circumstances. Complaining made me self-righteous, impatient, and judgmental. Thankfulness helped me start to let go and recognize God’s hand at work, even in hard situations. I still struggle at times with a “this isn’t good enough” mindset, but I’m continuing to work on it.When I slip back into bemoaning my circumstances, I’m a bit quicker to shift my gaze and see the good.
I keep returning to God asking for His help and trying to thank Him for even the smallest blessings. My attitude of gratitude is a work in progress, and maybe yours is too. We all wish relationships were easier, or we could wave a magic wand to make all conflict disappear. But that’s not our reality, and if we are readily accepting of community when it blesses us, maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it the moment it’s complicated or inconvenient. It’s not easy, friend, but may we remind ourselves that God’s gift is no less immeasurably great today than on our best days in community and decide to praise Him no matter what.
Olivia lives in Greenbelt, MD just outside DC with her husband Jimmy. Much of her life revolves around writing or communicating in some capacity whether as a public health communications consultant at work, microblogger on Instagram, or chatty extrovert. She has a passion for serving in the local church and being a friend for people like you looking to grow in their faith. If you’d like to connect and find support to love Jesus more during life’s transitions and challenges, you can find Olivia on Instagram @on.ascent.